A group of maverick researchers claims to have discovered that the Earth is, indeed, flat. The announcement comes as a paradigm-shifting moment for humanity, challenging centuries of scientific consensus and leaving us questioning the very foundations of our understanding of the world.
The research, conducted by the self-proclaimed “Flat Horizon Society,” suggests that gravity is nothing more than an elaborate hoax perpetuated by a shadowy group of “Round-Earth Extremists” who allegedly control mainstream science. According to their findings, the Earth is a flat, disk-shaped object floating in space, and gravity is merely an illusion created by these extremists to keep us all walking obediently on the surface.
Dr. Isaac Leveler, lead researcher and spokesperson for the Flat Horizon Society, held a press conference in a dimly lit room adorned with pictures of flattened planets and pancakes. “For too long, we have been living under the oppressive weight of round-earth propaganda,” Dr. Leveler declared, passionately waving a flat map of the world. “We’ve been fooled into thinking we’re living on a sphere, but the truth is as clear as day – or night, depending on your time zone.”
The Flat Horizon Society’s evidence includes YouTube videos of people claiming to have reached the edge of the Earth (although they conveniently stop recording before falling off), as well as a collection of memes that supposedly expose the so-called “round-earth agenda.”
Mainstream scientists have dismissed the claims, citing centuries of empirical evidence, space exploration, and, well, common sense. Dr. Stella Globule, a respected astrophysicist, commented on the Flat Horizon Society’s findings, saying, “It’s a bit like claiming the moon is made of green cheese or that the sun is just a really bright flashlight. It’s entertaining but not grounded in any real science.”
Despite the skepticism from the scientific community, the Flat Horizon Society remains undeterred, planning to launch their own satellite to prove the flatness of the Earth. They assure the public that this satellite will orbit the Earth in a rather peculiar manner, confirming their theory once and for all.
As the debate rages on, the Flat Earth movement gains traction, with believers organizing international conferences and demanding a new global curriculum that teaches the “truth” about our flat home. In the meantime, astronauts around the world are scratching their heads, wondering why they spent all that time training for spacewalks if the Earth is just a giant Frisbee.